


Coming home to Céline Dion, burritos and that stupid pink apron.

by Bettyboop13



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 30 Day OTP Challenge, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Living Together, M/M, One Shot, One Shot Collection, Romantic Comedy, Short & Sweet, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 14:42:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23079253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bettyboop13/pseuds/Bettyboop13
Summary: Spideypool -“I answered your weirdly specific craigslist roommate ad as a joke and now we’re living together” AU
Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Comments: 30
Kudos: 414





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt stolen (?) from: https://perfectlyrose.tumblr.com/post/101118660910/au-prompts-masterlist-of-lists 
> 
> I wanna work on my writing skills so I can finish other fics I've started, so I'm challenging myself to write Spideypool. :)

Peter was feeling so excited, swinging home as fast as he could, trying hard to keep an eye out for crime. But he wasn’t trying hard. He’s done enough for one night. If he hurried, he could make it home in time for his midnight snack to still be warm. Wade should have had enough time to make it home and start cooking. It was Wade’s idea to make them food, after a particularly hard time assisting police with a hostage situation. After their work out bustin’ bad guys, Wade was suddenly craving homemade burritos, so off he ran. 

Heading home from patrols _used_ to be the most depressing thing in Peter’s life. Back to a cold, small apartment to microwave meals, nursing bruises and a few hours sleep before classes the next day. But now ~ now it was back to the warm, big yet cosy apartment with Wade. His beautiful Wade; who cooked meals for him when he was studying, always made sure Peter got the minimal amount of sleep and medical treatment, and planted soft little kisses in his hair when he thought Peter wouldn’t notice. Not that Peter _ever_ minded.

Peter pulled up short, a tantalisingly two blocks from home, when he heard a scream. Angrily, Peter swooped down to deal with the mugging. He had to remind himself that his eagerness to get home was a lot better than dread of going home, back in the old days of three months ago…

Peter, broke and busy as he was, had been searching for another place to stay as he simply couldn’t afford the rent at his current shoebox. Even if his current rent was ridiculously small. He was squatting at his desk, blowing on his 90c ramen so he could start breakfast, looking through the newspaper hoping to come across a room for rent add. Maybe he would have to move in with someone else, or multiple people. Peter valued his quiet time, and alone time, but he preferred four walls and a roof over his head.

He nearly choked on his next mouthful when he saw the next asking price for the room for rent. Stunningly low, especially for the location. And what a peculiar ad. It took up half the page, so it had to of cost almost ten times the asking amount just for the advertisement…

**“ROOM FOR RENT! ROOMMATE WANTED!**

2 Bd, 1 Bth, 2000 sqrft, vintage furnishings, modern furniture.

Looking for a roommate, preferably without many possessions

as I am not willing to part with or move mine. Price is low, cuz I’m

lonely. Internet/bills included. I like to cook. Spare bedroom has some explainable blood stains. Promise x.

**TEXT ME:”**

Peter smiled to himself. For this price, he _had_ to check it out. It wasn’t like he was going to take it, or even consider it. But – what if it’s actually a really good deal. What if it’s a nice old rich lady who will cook him food and maybe, do his laundry?

The person replied to his enquiry text quickly, quite informally and riddled with typos. Must be an old lady. They were free right now, so was Peter. Why not? He was freaking Spiderman, he didn’t have to worry if this was a ruse. He could easily sense it and get out, or even fight his way out.

Within an hour, Peter was standing outside the apartment door, bouncing on his feet a little. His spidey-senses weren’t telling him anything was wrong. The building was _super_ expensive looking, and this was the top floor. The odds of it being an old rich woman were getting bigger. On the other hand the odds of this being a sort of black market, organ harvesting operation held here to specifically make people feel safe was another growing possibility.

But when the door finally did open, it wasn’t an old lady. And it very possibly could have been someone dangerous. Though Peter’s senses still remained calm. The man smiling down at him was tall, a foot taller than Peter, and impossibly bulky. And the scars. He looked like some sort of horrible plane crash victim. He could have been for all Peter knew, so he tried not to stare.

“Hey! You must be Peter?” The man said, voice friendly. Almost… too friendly? Familiar?

“A-ah, yeah. You must be the guy with the room for rent?” Peter extended his hand. He now regretted giving his real name to the man. The stranger shook his hand, his hands twice the size of Peter’s.

“Nice to meet cha, I’m Wade. Suppose you should come in and see the place!” Wade stepped back to let Peter in. The apartment was _amazing_. It was like something out of a magazine, but also so lived in. Homey. Peter’s senses didn’t so much as tingle. If Wade could afford this place, why did he need a measly extra income from letting the room?

“It’s not much, but it’s home.” Wade tried to look sheepish

“Ha, yeah right.” Peter scoffed, ducking into the spacious bathroom. A double shower. Wow.

“Spare bedroom is down the hall, feel free to look around as much as you like. But I gotta say my room is a total mess so, probably best we don’t look in there.” Wade winked, then walked to the kitchen. Peter frowned to himself and trotted down the hallway to look at the spare room. It was a nice size; he could easily fit his bed and desk in here. Wait – Peter slapped himself lightly on the cheek. He _wasn’t_ seriously considering this place. Just look at the –

“Hey, uh, what is the story behind these blood stains?” Peter called out, voice echoing down the hall. There were quite a few, almost looked as though someone had died on the carpet.

“Oh!” Wade sounded surprised, then stuck his bald head into the hallway. “Yeah, that was just me.”

Peter returned down the hallway. “Are you… okay?”

“Yeah, old – uh- cooking injury. I used to store stuff in there, so I was looking for my medical kit. Took a while.” Wade smiled again, as if it was no big deal.

Peter peered at him; spidey-senses still quiet even though that was very suspicious. “You don’t keep your med kit in the bathroom or something?”

“Why?’ Wade frowned, “I don’t get hurt in the bathroom.”

Peter shrugged, “That’s where most people keep them.”

“Ah,” Wade scratched his head. “I’m not like most people, which you should probably know. If you actually want the room that is. I can understand if not, we wouldn’t want you vomiting from looking at this rotten avocado face every morning.”

“I have seen worse,” Peter turned away, looking in the longue room at the fireplace. The only time someone else’s body made him vomit was when his good old buddy Deadpool got cut in goddamn half a couple years ago. And just because Wade was physically injured doesn’t mean Peter’s the type of person to judge him for it. Anyway, he should really leave...

“Goddamn, sorry to hear that.” Wade looked at the floor, scuffing his bare foot on the floor. “Still, I keep odd hours and am pretty loud.”

“I thought that when you tried to get a roommate you were supposed to sell yourself.” Peter crossed his arms and looked at the taller man. Should he tell Wade the truth that he just wanted to see the place to see if it was a joke? He seemed serious.

Wade scoffed and chuckled. “Well I plain don’t know how to do that, baby boy.”

Peter turned away so Wade wouldn’t see his eyes widen. That frame. That chuckle. That _name_. Could this seriously be… fragments of information in Peter’s brain started to come together like the zip on his sweater.

Peter turned back to Wade, who was checking something on his phone, and he bolted back down the hallway to the other bedroom door, ignoring Wade’s protest, and opened the door. Peter grinned at the mess inside, clothes everywhere, bed unmade, some guns littered around, red leather on the end of the bed, panda eyed mask on the dresser. Wade caught up to him and Peter spun on his heel, not sure if he was ecstatic or furious. “OH, YOU FUCK!”

Peter daintily swung in through the window, paused and listened, was that… flute music? He groaned to himself. Celine Dion. Of course. “Wade?”

“Baby boy!” A singsong voice replied from the kitchen.

“I’m not late, am I?” Peter peeled off his mask, panting a little. He knew if he came into the kitchen and saw Wade sitting at the table all alone with the food, uneaten, waiting for him that he would die. But Wade was still in his filly pink apron and boxers, and nothing else, unsurprisingly.

“Not at all, just in time.” He smiled up at Peter, and Peter felt every inch of tension leave his body. “You look all hot and sweaty, babyboo. Want to grab a shower?”

“I know you like me this way,” Peter smirked, sitting down excitedly. “I’m starving!”

“I like you every way you come, webs.” Wade corrected.


	2. I might be the need one in this relationship but if you don't shut up I'm not kissing you anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade's reaction to the chapter one flashback and some domestic life ~

Wade opened the door and his face instantly started smiling, it took his brain a moment to realise why. This possible new roommate was adorable as fuck. And he was currently just blinking up at him under his pretty eyelashes.

“Hey! You must be Peter?” Wade tried to sound as friendly as possible; he could tell this guy was trying not to stare at his scars.

“A-ah, yeah. You must be the guy with the room for rent?” They kid, Peter, smiled and extended his hand. Wow his hands looked so small.

“Nice to meet cha, I’m Wade.” Wade introduced himself, shaking Peter’s hand. “Suppose you should come in and see the place!” Wade stepped back to let Peter inside.

Now, Wade didn’t need help with the rent at all, nor did he _need_ a roommate for anything other than feeling as though he might be going insane from being alone all the time. Sure, he would hang out with Spiderman most nights, and that was heavenly, he was not at all saying it wasn’t, it was just…not always enough. Wade missed being able to hear someone else moving around, or even discuss the water bill. The newspaper ad might sound ridiculous, but Wade had had heaps of interest from it. But – mainly from dodgy people. Although he had a good feeling about Peter

“It’s not much, but it’s home.” Wade half smiled – it really was much.

“Ha, yeah right.” Peter scoffed, looking in at the bathroom. Wade wondered if flirting with this potential new roommate would be a bad idea or not. Oh crap, had he put away his Deadpool gear form last night?? Peter had texted so early (for Wade, anyway) and wanted to come as soon as possible, he might not of tidied enough.

“Spare bedroom is down the hall, feel free to look around as much as you like. But I gotta say my room is a total mess so, probably best we don’t look in there.” Wade winked at Peter; there. That shouldn’t seem suspicious, but Wade began to feel awkward just following Peter around, so he wandered to the kitchen. Not that he didn’t _want_ to keep looking at him.

“Hey, uh, what is the story behind these blood stains?” Peter’s voice called out.

“Oh!” Wade looked down the hall at a very concerned Peter “Yeah, that was just me.”

Peter returned down the hallway. “Are you… okay?”

“Yeah, old – uh,” What was the story he had cooked up to cover those stains? Stains from when he had limbs missing or had killed himself for fun. Huh, cooking… “-cooking injury. I used to store stuff in there, so I was looking for my medical kit. Took a while.” Wade tried to smile casually. Peter peered at him, seeming to not totally believe it. Uh oh.

“You don’t keep your med kit in the bathroom or something?”

“Why?’ Wade frowned, “I don’t get hurt in the bathroom.”

Peter shrugged, “That’s where most people keep them.”

“Ah,” Wade scratched his head. “I’m not like most people, which you should probably know. If you actually want the room that is. I can understand if not, we wouldn’t want you vomiting from looking at this rotten avocado face every morning.”

Joking about his appearance often made Wade feel a little better about it, even if Peter didn’t appear to be bother by it.

“I have seen worse,” Peter turned away to look at the fireplace. Wade frowned. What was worse than him?? He was absolutely the worst looking thing in the world, surely! Not to mention, probably the worst thing in the world just in general…

“Goddamn, sorry to hear that.” Wade looked at the floor, scuffing his bare foot on the floor. “Still, I keep odd hours and am pretty loud.”

“I thought that when you tried to get a roommate you were supposed to sell yourself.” Peter crossed his arms with a smirk. God, why was that witty reply so - familiar? But yes – not a time to get all depressed about yourself, Wilson. Even if this beautiful guy is making you feel self-conscious.

Wade scoffed and chuckled. “Well I plain don’t know how to do that, baby boy.”

Peter turned away pretty quickly; Wade winced and pretended to check his phone. He cursed himself - maybe a ‘baby boy’ was too much? Where did that come from anyway. He usually only called Spiderman that. Wade felt a little guilty about it – Spidey was his _only_ baby boy. Crap, what if Wade started dating this cute roommate, would Spidey get jealous?? Peter suddenly bolted form the room towards the hall, making Wade jump and Wade followed him, running as well when he saw that Peter was opening his bedroom door. Oh shit shit shit.

“Hey! Hey, wait!”

Looking over the top of Peter’s head Wade saw the mess inside; clothes everywhere, bed unmade, some guns littered around, red leather on the end of the bed, panda eyed mask on the dresser. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit cockfucking motherfucking shit!

Peter whipped around to face him. “OH, YOU FUCK!”

“Wh-what?” Wade took a step back, eye wide. And he got even more confused when Peter started cracking up laughing, so much so that he doubled over holding his stomach. That laugh…

“I should have known! Who else would write a dumb fucking ad like that!” Peter choked, still laughing.

“I’d love to be tagged in here!!” Wade shut the bedroom door again, feeling a bit panicked. But Peter was still too busy laughing to answer. Wade was thinking, cogs in his mind slowly approaching the realisation… who else wouldn’t be alarmed at finding out about Deadpool…

“W….Webs?”

“I think I’ll take the room.” Peter finally stood up straight again, now just giggling and riping his eyes. “So, when’s the blood from? Tuesday?”

It was Wade’s turn not to answer now; this was… SPIDERMAN??

Peter sat up and stretched, butt and thighs very numb from sitting so long – had he not moved the entire length of the movie? He turned to see his pillow starting to drool on the couch cushions, and his face fell. Picking up one of the pillows that had fallen on the floor when they cuddled up, Peter promptly smacked his boyfriend in the face with it. And considering the featherdown pillow had some spidey-strength behind it, it hurt.

“Ow! What the fuck, baby boy?!” Wade groaned, hands going up to cover his face in case Peter wanted to hit him more.

“You fell asleep!” Peter whined, hitting his chest with the pillow. “You promised you wouldn’t!”

“Ow, ow. Okay stop.” Wade grabbed Peter’s wrists. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to! It was… just sorta… boring.”

“Is _not_, but whatever.” Peter sulked, climbing off Wade’s lap.

“Aww, baby boy, don’t be like that.” Wade sat up and reached for him, but Peter moved out of his reach. “I’ll stay awake next time, I’ll coffee up before hand, promise.”

“You’re promises are worth nothing.” Peter said in a deep, dramatic voice and Wade smiled, knowing he was joking. Wade lunged and got Peter’s arm, pulling him back into the safety of his lap and nuzzling into his hair.

“Seriously, I am sorry. I know you were scared to watch it.” Wade said softly. 

“You can’t protect me if you’re asleep.” Peter sighed exasperatedly but cuddled back.

“Can to. I will always wake up to you if you’re scared.” Wade planted a big wet kiss on Peter’s temple.

“Ew, heck off.” Peter grumbled, pulling away but Wade just continued to pepper him with kisses until Peter started to giggle. “You’re so grooosssssssss.”

“But you love me.” Wade chuckled, lips against Peter’s neck.

“Ah! Don’t – that tickles.” Peter squeaked, and Wade chuckled again, then just nuzzled there too. Peter sighed and patted his head. “I _do_ love you, though. I don’t know… if we’ve said that before?”

“Who can remember?” Wade shrugged.

“Well, I’m not constantly getting head injuries, so I can.”

“Okay then. I love you too.”

“Let it be remembered; Our first ‘I love you’s’ were at twelve-thirty on a Sunday night after you broke your promise and left me to watch Rosemary’s Baby unsupervised.”

“_Ugh, _I’m **sorry!** Do my apologies mean nothing as well??”

“No, they do. And your promises aren’t worthless, you know.”

“I do.”

“Okay good.” Peter yawned. “Wanna head to bed?”

“Did I promise you anything in the bedroom too? Because I might have to let you down there too.”

“What? N-no, I don’t think you promised anything in there.”

“Good, I’m tired.”

“Lazy boy.” Peter poked Wade’s cheek.

“I’m not lazy, I’m tired! Regrowing limbs is tiring.”

“Your arms been back for two days.”

“And I’m still tired.”

“Come on then, let’s go to bed.”

“Well get off me and stop cuddling me and I will.”

“Okay.”

“…uh….You going to?”

“Any minute now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't really have any direction with this second chapter, so I just tried making a cute story with the flashback from the first chapter in Wade's POV (Since some of you wanted to see it xD) Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> You know the drill ;)

**Author's Note:**

> This one is a little longer than Day 1, I wanna keep it around 1000 words so I don't get completely carried away but that might be a struggle. Drop a kudos or comment if you liked! I postponed my assignment (due tomorrow) for this, because I wanna write spideypool so much. ugh


End file.
